Monday, April 6, 2009

The world does not need another college dropout

The idea of the times is pessimism. Here in the U.S. we're worried about money, losing our jobs, losing our homes. We're in a recession, right? So pessimistic is the way to be- anyone who's anyone has something to complain about.

So does this mean that I was ahead of my time? I doubt it.

I am 21 going on 22, depressed most of the time, stressed most of the time, broke, and quite possibly on the verge of willingly becoming an alcoholic. I'm a typical college student. It's the best time of my life! If I leave school, which I might because I can't afford it, there are no jobs for me. What remains of my family is falling apart. I'm on the verge of losing my job. I've only earned about 20 credits in the past year (that's not a lot). And, this week I accidentally deleted all the songs on my iPod.

I go to a school I'll call Central. I actually love it here, but it's pretty expensive for an out-of-stater like me. If I lose my job (I may find out tomorrow), then I will most likely have to leave. Spring quarter recently started, and this is the most hopeful I've felt about classes in a long time. I decided to take classes I can actually pass. Luckily, my parents are not very involved with my school life, so they know nothing about my problems. They don't pay for school, so they don't care.

I'm about three quarters away from a bachelor's degree, which means if I am ousted from Central, I am going to be thrown into a job market where people with degrees are in danger of losing their jobs.

Do you remember thinking how easy life was going to be? I remember thinking that college would be a cinch, finding a dream job would be a piece of cake, and once you had those the rest would come along shortly. It feels like I've been in school forever, and there is really no job that I can think of that I would be happy doing for the rest of my life. There are things I can stand to do for long periods of time, but every day... for the rest of my life?

Please God, don't let me get fired tomorrow. I need this job, and I am good at it. I just have one more quarter here before the summer... and in the summer will be Paris... 

Is praying something pessimists do? Maybe just during a recession.

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